


Sansa, Get Your Bouquet!

by rougefox



Series: You Can't Go Home Again (For the Holidays) [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:36:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8963431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougefox/pseuds/rougefox
Summary: Sansa gets dragged into planning a wedding





	

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, this was originally posted on the wrong day. It has been fixed and enjoy!

Sansa straightened Sandy’s hair bow, fluffed Elinor’s skirt and reapplied lip gloss to Catie’s mouth.

 

 

Their mother stood back and demanded the girls twirl so she could make sure they were perfect from every angle. Satisfied with the final result she handed them their baskets of rose petals and told them to go stand by the door to the sanctuary of the sept. Sansa took a moment to freshen her lipstick and powder in the mirror by the door before tracking down the rest of the wedding party.

 

 

How Sansa managed to plan this wedding on such short notice was a mystery to everyone. Even though she had only a part-time job, Sandor was constantly needed at the gym and was useless around the house in the evening. On the weekends he made up for it by doing chores around the house (and killing anything that wandered into the house with more than four legs) but that meant for five days a week everything fell upon Sansa’s shoulders. It wasn't like she spent the days sitting on the couch watching TV and eating bonbons.

 

 

Unfortunately the bride and groom were clueless and all it took was a phone call from her mother to convince Sansa to take over the planning.

 

 

"Oh Sansa," her mother had cooed. "Your father and I are paying for everything. And you put on all those wonderful parties for the girls-"

 

 

_Yes mother, I have three children, which means three birthday parties a year._

 

 

 "-you manage to get them ready for all those pageants-"

 

 

_No, I just make sure everything is ready the day of. We pay a coach to get them ready._

 

 

 _"-_ and yours was the last wedding in the family-"

 

 

_Ten years ago!_

 

 

"-and they are your family, it is our duty to be honorable to family."

 

 

_For fuck's sakes._

 

 

When she cussed in her head, it was always in Sandor's voice.

 

 

"Alright mother, I will help the happy couple."

 

 

"Oh good!" her mother said satisfied. "I'll tell them and they'll send you some of the ideas they had."

 

 

Two hours later Sansa checked her email to see a message from the bride that contained 178 links to things online that "might work". Then the Pintrest board showed up.

 

 

_***_

 

 

Somehow in-between school, dance lessons and making sure all the laundry was done Sansa managed to order flowers, set up a DJ, put down deposits for tents and tables and chairs and all the other shit one doesn’t realize you need till you’re planning a wedding.

 

 

The bride demanded everything be perfect even though the parameters and suggestions where so many and varied it was almost impossible to discern a central idea.  This did not stop a fit being thrown over the color of the table runners clashing with the flower arrangements and the quality of the linen napkins. At one point she had to enlist the legal help of Tyrion Lannister to remind everyone that it’s not "justifiable homicide" if the bakery got the cake wrong and being a “bridezilla” does not make someone mentally unfit to stand trial.

 

 

The groom was needy and called her at all hours of the night just to “go over a few last minute details”, but really he just wanted to talk. One night at the end of her rope Sansa finally woke up Sandor to answer the phone hoping that her husband threatening to shove the caller into his own glove compartment would quiet the nocturnal annoyances. Unfortunately they both underestimated the tenacity of the groom and she would wake up to a phone screen full of text messages the next day.

 

 

Now it was done. The bride’s cloak was back from the seamstress, the groom’s cloak had been rescued from the attic and freshly cleaned. The bridesmaid’s dresses for Sansa and Arya matched and actually looked really good. Robb, Jon, Bran, Rickon and Sandor had been scrubbed, shaved, and shoved into formal wear.

 

 

The flower arrangements for the ceremony had been put in place out in the sept. The petals in the flower girl's baskets where fresh and fragrant. The bouquets matched the ribbons on the groomsman's boutineers and the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses.

 

 

Sansa found her mother picking lint off of Bran’s tux while her father helping Jon tie his bow tie.

 

 

Rickon was slouched against a wall. He had managed to make his three hundred and fifty dragon tux look sloppy. Sansa tugged at Rickon’s untucked shirt tails and gave him a dirty look till he straightened his clothes. As he re-buttoned his vest she spied his phone as it lit up with another text from Shireen.

 

 

“Turn it off,” she snarled in a perfect imitation of her husband.

 

 

Sansa inspected Rickon’s tux and nodded before shoving him towards the door to stand with his nieces.

 

 

With Jon sorted out, her father went to work tying Bran's bow tie while her mother looked on. Sansa smiled and took a picture. Suddenly she felt someone grab her ass and she whirled around to find her husband smirking down at her.

 

 

She smacked him good naturally on the arm and whispered, “Not in front of my parents.”

 

 

She had been telling him that for the last ten years and it had never stopped him once.

 

 

Sansa remembered back to her wedding; it was the most nerve wrecking day of her life. Sandor and her dad never got along and Ned Stark was not happy his precious little girl was marrying a hulking, disfigured man who didn’t have a steady job. (Sandor was bringing in an obscene amount of money in between competition and sponsors, so Sansa never understood why her father hated her husband so much). To her credit, Catelyn Stark had only once discreetly asked Sansa if she was pregnant after their engagement was announced. Sansa purposely moved the date of the wedding back a few months and chose a dress with a mermaid skirt so no one would think she was marrying Sandor out of any reason other than love.

 

 

Ten happy years later, Sansa kissed her husband and smiled up at him.

 

 

The alarm on her phone went off and Sansa clapped her hands together for attention.

 

 

“Ten minutes people!” she announced. “Where is the bride?”

 

 

“I’ll get the little drama queen,” Arya said before disappearing into an adjacent room. To her credit she had only grumbled for a few minutes when shown the bridesmaid's dress she would have to wear.

 

 

Catelyn caught Sansa’s eye.

 

 

“I’ve been thinking about your wedding,” her mother said. “You were so beautiful in your dress and I must admit I was not happy about the match, but you two looked so happy standing in front of the gods. From that day forward I never doubted for a moment after that you two were going to have an amazing life together. I pray this union will be as loving and amazing as yours.”

 

 

Mrs. Stark reached into her clutch and blotted her tears with a tissue. Sansa took a deep breath and felt Sandor's hand on her shoulder.

 

 

Arya held open the door as the bride entered. "Ta da!"

 

 

Sandor raised an eyebrow; “White Theon? Isn’t it too late for that?”

 

 

Theon took a deep breath and looked Sandor in the face; “Sansa wore white at your wedding!”

 

 

Sandor did laugh at that.

 

 

Asha Greyjoy appeared at Theon’s side dressed in a smartly tailored grey suit. She dropped the freshly made Greyjoy bridal cloak around his shoulders and fixed the squid shaped clasp in the front.

 

 

“You ready for this little brother?” she asked offering her elbow.

 

 

Theon took a deep breath and placed his hand on his sister’s arms.

 

 

“He can’t run off, we’ve been living together for seven years. He has nowhere to hide.”

 

 

Asha barked out a laugh; “That’s the spirit!”

 

 

Sansa ushered everyone into place and signaled to the DJ to start the procession music.

 

 

First went Bran escorting their Mother to her seat, then Jon and Arya, Sandor and Sansa, Rickon with the rings, and finally Catie, Elinor and Sandy throwing petals for Asha and Theon to walk upon.

 

 

Sansa let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding when she saw Robb in front of the alter holding the grey Stark family cloak. Jojen stood in a green tux to his side.

 

 

Even with the newly passed law legalizing same sex marriage, the septan had refused to conduct the ceremony. He let them use the sept for a nominal fee but told them he would refuse to help them any further. Jojen had saved the day by going online and getting ordained as a minister of a religious order called the “Green Seers” who could legally sign marriage contracts.

 

 

Sansa had kissed the little stoner.

 

 

Once everyone was in place, Jojen started the ceremony;

 

 

"Who gives this man?"

 

 

Asha smirked and happily said; "I do, Asha Greyjoy of the Greyjoys of the Iron Islands."

 

 

"You got this little brother," she smiled and squeezed his shoulder before taking her place as the maid of honor.

 

 

Jojen cleared his throat and began the vows;

 

 

Dearly beloved  
We are gathered here today  
To get through this thing called love

Electric word, love  
It's forever and that's a mighty long time  
But I'm here to tell you  
There's nothing better  
The world of love is

a world of never ending happiness  
You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Highgarden….

 

 

 

Sansa was about to throw her bouquet at the little shit till she saw how happy Theon and Robb were as they looked at each other.

 

 

Sandor grasped her elbow to calm her down.

 

 

Soon Robb was removing the bride's cloak and placing the Stark cloak on Theon's shoulders.

 

 

Jojen finished up the ceremony with a few more choice nonreligious words before presenting the happy couple.

 

 

Sansa almost sat down on the floor from exhaustion. Sandor kept her up with an arm around her waist till they could file out to the car. Then it was onto the feast being set up in her parents backyard.

 

 

As everyone was leaving Arya caught up to her and looped her arm through Sansa’s elbow.

 

 

“So how long do you think before mom starts bugging them to have children?” her sister teased.

 

 

“Tomorrow,” Sansa smiled. “And I give to after the cake before she starts in on you and Gendry to get married.”

 

 

Arya laughed. “Gendry and I have talked about it and we do not need a piece of paper to show the world we love each other.”

 

 

Sansa looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

 

Arya leaned in and promised; “We’ll elope.”

 

 

Sansa smiled at her sister and kissed her on the cheek.

 

 

 ***

 

 

Once they got to the car, Sansa climbed into the passenger side. She rolled down the window and rested her head against the door.

 

 

It was done, the wedding was finally done. Theon Greyjoy was now Theon Greyjoy-Stark and all that was left for her was paying the remaining balance on the bar and enjoying the fruits of her labor.

 

 

As she listened to her husband wrestle Catie's fluffy tulle petty coat under the seat belt she felt a shiver run up her spine.

 

 

Sansa leaned out the window and looked a few cars down to see her aunt Lysa talking on her cellphone while her son Robin sat in the car looking annoyed. Her husband, Petyr Baelish was smiling at Sansa before getting into the driver's seat of his blue BMW.

 

 

Sansa felt the SUV rock as Sandor climbed into the driver's seat.

 

 

He took one look at her and asked; "What's wrong?"

 

 

"Aunt Lysa's new husband Petyr," Sansa replied rolling up her window. "He creeps me out."

 

 

Sandor grunted and started the car.

 

 

"Thank the gods those two eloped. Just let me know if you want me to make him kiss his own ass, okay little bird?"

 

 

***

 

 

When they arrived back at her parent’s house, the tents where up, the bar and food stations were operational and the appetizers were already laid out. There was only one last hurdle looming between Sansa and a glass of wine; the photographer. Sansa reapplied her makeup, shoved a comb into Gendry’s hand, scolded Rickon for somehow rumpling his tux again on the drive from the sept to home, and pulled Sandy’s finger out of her nose.

 

 

“Smile!” she commanded with the unsaid undertone of ; _Or they will never find your body._

 

When the photographer finally released them, Asha approached Sansa and shoved a flask into her hand.

 

 

“I always carry one for family gatherings,” she winked as Sansa took a sip and Arya took a long drink.

 

 

“I think I’m going to like you in our family,” Arya smiled as Sansa coughed the whiskey burn from the back of her throat. “Word of warning though, _do not_ play with the little monsters that Clegane whelped with my sister.”

 

 

Asha laughed. “Oh yeah, Theon already warned me about them, but it looks like they know how to pick their prey”

 

 

Sansa turned to see her precious little girls pulling on the elbow of Jon’s new girlfriend. She was a tiny thing with platinum blonde hair and violet eyes.

 

 

Jon’s friend Sam ran up to grasp her other arm and shook his head so hard his double chin wobbled. Jon’s girlfriend (Daria? Dayla? _Dany_ ) patted him on the shoulder and said something to him that made him let go. Dany smiled down at Elinor and Catie as they pulled her into the woods.

 

 

Arya took another pull of the flask and commented; “We really need a doctor in the family to administer tetanus shots at every family gathering.”

 

 

“My boyfriend is a nurse,” Asha said as they made their way to the tents.

 

 

Behind them they heard Catelyn Stark’s voice carried on the wind; “You know Gendry, when you and Arya get married you should really trim your hair. It will make you look more professional in the photos.”

 

 

** *

 

The booze was already flowing when Theon and Robb made their entrance. Uncle Benjen was making a pass at Alys Karstark, but thankfully “Small” Jon was staying sober and keeping an eye on things. His father “Great” Jon on the other hand was already doing shots with Dagmar Cleftjaw. Sansa exchanged a look with her father. Ned Stark made his way over to his friend and started trying to talk him into eating some food. Sandor took a sip of his mineral water and earned himself a dirty look when he helped himself to a handful of shrimp puffs.

 

 

“I wanted to get some before Wyman Manderly unhinged his jaw and consumed them all,” he said in his defense.

 

 

Sansa sighed and went to tell the caterer to open the buffet and put the extra pie she had ordered specifically for Mr Manderly in front of the big man.

 

 

** *

 

 

“So where is Ygritte?”Arya asked Jon as Sansa finally collapsed into a chair next to her husband. Sandor redeemed himself from the early appetizer faux pas by placing a glass of wine in her hand.

 

 

Jon took a sip off his cocktail and replied; “I wasn’t radical enough for her. She met some guy online who was one of those eco-terrorists. I came home one night and she gave me some speech about my lack of passion for action then took all the food and shut of the electricity before she left.”

 

 

Arya whistled and Gendry shook his head.

 

 

“What a bitch,” Sandor commented.

 

 

Sansa didn’t have the energy to admonish her husband for his language, even though she agreed.

 

 

“So where did you meet this one?” Arya gestured to the woods with her high ball glass.

 

 

Jon played with his drink stirrer; “Craigslist.”

 

 

Sandor barked out a laugh and Arya nearly blew pate out her nose.

 

 

“It was in the platonic relationship section! She was just new in town and wanted to met people,” Jon said in his defense. “And it turns out that she and dad are related.”

 

 

The whole table looked over Jon's shoulder to where his mother and father were sitting. Lyanna was in Rhaegar's lap unashamedly feeding him cheese cubes and grapes.

 

 

“Gods Targaryen, you’re the only bastard I know who could pick up his cousin on Craigslist!” Gendry snickered.

 

 

“It could be worse,” Arya came to the defense of her favorite cousin. “She could have been doing a private show for him and his friends at Robb’s bachelor party!”

 

 

Sansa froze and stared at her sister. Lucky for both of them, Sandor was distracted by Asha’s sudden appearance at his elbow. Sansa gritted her teeth and drained her glass in on gulp. She made to get another when her daughters and Jon’s girlfriend came bursting into the tent. All were panting but didn’t look worst for wear.

 

 

Gendry looked to Arya and hissed; “I told you it would be before cake.”

 

 

Arya rummaged in her purse then shoved a twenty stag bill into his hand.

 

 

Sandor had gone to get a bottle of water and an ice pack. Jon handed his girlfriend two fingers of rum.

 

 

“Are you alright?” Jon asked as Dany slammed the drink.

 

 

The tiny woman looked down at her boyfriend like he was crazy and stole his linen napkin to blot the sweat from her forehead.

 

 

“Mother! Father!” Elinor came running up to Sansa hopping excitingly. “Dany taught us the greatest game! It’s called “Dragons and Slavers!””

 

 

Sansa stared at the seemingly unscathed woman then down to her daughter.

 

 

“Oh?” she asked pulling a twig out of Elinor’s dark hair.

 

 

“Yes! Yes!” squealed Catie behind her sister. “We are the slavers and Dany is the dragon! If she catches one of us we become dragons and have to catch the other slavers!”

 

 

“Are you sure you're okay?” Jon asked his date again.

 

 

“Oh yes!” she reassured him before turning to Sansa. “Your girls are the best! If you ever need someone to watch them, Jon has my number!”

 

 

“Dany! Dany! Dany! Let’s play again!” squealed the choir of little girls.

 

 

“One moment my darlings!” she called drinking the rest of the bottle of water Sandor had set before her.

 

 

Dany smoothed her purple dress, let out a roar, then chased the girls back into the trees.

 

 

The table went silent among the din of the reception.

 

 

Sandor sat hard next to Jon and squeezed his shoulder.

 

 

“Marry her,” he told Jon in a low raspy voice.

 

 

Arya snatched her twenty stags back from Gendry and joined in; “Fucking make that woman your wife. You will never find anyone who will put up with our family like that.”

 

 

“She’s got a nice ass,” Asha added offhandedly.

 

 

Sansa huffed, "If you're looking for someone to plan it, ask Theon! He apparently knows how to match table runners to flower arrangements better than anyone else!"

 

 

She looked at the tragedy that was her empty wine glass then excused herself to go to the bar. On the way back she took the last of the mini lemon tarts and crammed them into her mouth in a very unladylike fashion.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> RIP Prince


End file.
